Nervous
I'm nervous. First beta draw today. I no longer feel pregnant; I was peeing every 5 minutes at 8-9dpo, but today at 13dpo I don't need to anymore. My boobs feel a bit swollen, but not painful really. And this morning's test didn't get darker; it didn't get lighter really but definitely not darker. I know you're not supposed to read the tests like that, but in the past it has always served me well. I knew I lost #3 when the test got lighter one morning.
Sorry to obsess but with my history the pregnancy probably won't last the week. I really, really want this, don't get me wrong. But I don't want my hopes up too much. I think that is the real crime in this problem, that we can't get excited and shout it from the rooftops. I know 3 or 4 women who are all due in April-May of next year, and have already spread the news (weeks ago really!). I saw a bunch of friends this weekend, and had to bite my tongue. Because it's unfair to get them excited, and I don't want to have to make a million "sorry false alarm" phone calls next week.
Today's number won't really mean much. I know it will be positive. I am guessing in the 50 range. But that is as high as my hCG has ever been, so I'm expecting the worst at any time now. But on the upside they are testing my progesterone for the first time ever, while pregnant anyway, so if it is low perhaps they can get me some supplementation. Probably not, but I can hope.
Wow this is a pretty morbid post. Sorry for that. Let's end it on an up note: no spotting yet!
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Edited to add: The stupid OB/Gyn did not mark the progesterone test, so it is only a beta hCG test. Grrrr.
Sorry to obsess but with my history the pregnancy probably won't last the week. I really, really want this, don't get me wrong. But I don't want my hopes up too much. I think that is the real crime in this problem, that we can't get excited and shout it from the rooftops. I know 3 or 4 women who are all due in April-May of next year, and have already spread the news (weeks ago really!). I saw a bunch of friends this weekend, and had to bite my tongue. Because it's unfair to get them excited, and I don't want to have to make a million "sorry false alarm" phone calls next week.
Today's number won't really mean much. I know it will be positive. I am guessing in the 50 range. But that is as high as my hCG has ever been, so I'm expecting the worst at any time now. But on the upside they are testing my progesterone for the first time ever, while pregnant anyway, so if it is low perhaps they can get me some supplementation. Probably not, but I can hope.
Wow this is a pretty morbid post. Sorry for that. Let's end it on an up note: no spotting yet!
*******************
Edited to add: The stupid OB/Gyn did not mark the progesterone test, so it is only a beta hCG test. Grrrr.
posted by Michelle at 6:08 AM
2 Comments:
well, i sure hope youre beta is a strong positive. Wil you go in every few days for tests to see if its doubling?
Thanx for your support on my blog.
You asked abt why i dont go in for betas - i was goin in since the first positive test every few days, it was doubling but then didnt double which is why our RE suggested an ultrasound. After last wks i did ask abt whether i should have another beta but he said that at this stage weekly u/sounds would be more telling....in a strange way even tho' the beta yesterday or today might have been telling, i hate going in to the clinic...im still praying but expecting the worst.
i really hope your beta is a strong one & it continues to double as it should, i'll be checking in.
oh shit im sorry, i pressed print 3 times as it looked like it wasn't publishing....& now its printed 3 times - sorry.
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