Sunday, September 10, 2006

Michelle-1; Cyst-0

Well, my scan was very good. The cyst was completely gone, as was the fluid in my abdomen. I'm feeling better already. However, I had only two follicles, and they of course were both on my left ovary. And they were only 15mm each. I think that is on the small side, especially for CD14. This morning I detected my LH surge, so I will ovulate today or tomorrow. Could my eggs possibly have matured that fast? I think not. So this cycle is probably a wash. But we'll try, because we're silly like that. After I ovulate I'll probably be in pain all over again, I'm still feeling twinges from the fluid in my abdomen. Apparently the damn thing ruptured, and the fluid irritated everything.

So now I'm at a loss. The Clomid probably caused the cyst, although it could have been there already and was merely angered by it. And then the fluid, and the reduced blood flow to my ovary all causing me pain. My regular OB/Gyn has said that I shouldn't try the Clomid again. I will call the maternal fetal specialist, but I think that I will ask for a referral to an RE. I think we're ready. I need someone to watch me, and run all those blood clotting tests that the specialist refused to run.

I told B yesterday that I don't think that this will happen for us. I can get pregnant; but I can't stay pregnant. I can't take the baby aspirin, it irritates me. So even if it is a blood clotting issue, I'm not sure it can be fixed. We've been trying for more than a year, and we have nothing to show for it. We were at a friend's 30th birthday party yesterday, and no joke, every woman there except for me and two others (excluding the aunts and grandparents, of course) had either just given birth, or was pregnant. And newly pregnant, at that. How nice it must be to make an announcement the second the test stick dries!

I'm not sure what we'll do if we can't be parents. The thought takes my breath away.

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